Blog

As the pandemic of the coronavirus continues to disrupt our lives, we want to let you know that People’s Memorial will support our members and community in any way that we are able.

Returning to work after the passing of a loved one can be a daunting prospect. First of all, you're probably still working through your grief. Second, you have to deal with the inquiries and condolences of coworkers. While they may mean well, their good intentions can be hurtful. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and set clear boundaries during this time. Read on for some actionable tips and practical resources that can help you ease back into working life after a loss.

When you’re grieving, it can be easy to focus on the negatives, and you may feel like you have no control and no ability to change anything. However, it’s important to remember that this is a normal part of the grieving process, and it will pass. But it’s also important to know how to turn that negative energy into something positive. Healthy goals can help you move forward in the healing process, and they can help you feel like you have control over your life again.

A 10 year lease was signed for a whole floor - over 4,000 square feet - at the Queen Anne Baptist Church. The organizations have been working hard to expand and this move is a result of their efforts. PMA looks forward to hosting their free workshops on-site and more frequently. The Co-op Funeral Home will be able to offer families several on-site options to host memorial and funeral services.

Anyone who experiences the unexpected death of a loved one, someone closely enough related that it becomes their responsibility to deal with the disposition of the body, payment of bills, and distribution of the estate, knows what a stressful and bewildering experience that can be. Sooner or later each of us, by our own departure, will create that sort of crisis in the lives of our family or friends. Similar challenges occur when a loved one is disabled, especially if the disability prevents them from providing guidance about their finances, the type of care they want, and their desires for the care or distribution of their property.

There is never an easy path forward following the loss of a loved one. Although some parts of grief are universal, much of the process is unique, and the path toward relief for one person may look entirely different than for another. One way to look toward the future after a death is to consider moving. Living spaces hold memories; for some people, this can be a comforting reminder of the person they’ve lost. For others, however, every corner or doorway can bring back a painful feeling of grief and sadness. In these situations, finding a new space and a fresh start can be the kindest thing to do for yourself.

This may be a weird question. Can we get the gold teeth back? When a family is having a loved one cremated, many ask this question. We hear it on almost a daily basis. So we don’t find it weird at all to wonder what happens to the gold teeth. However, it does not have a simple answer. Let’s get into it.

Inhaling deeply through my eyes in an attempt not to cry, I handed Jer the red velvet heart sachet he’d sent with Surrey, our cat of nearly seven years, to the animal hospital the night before. Holding the lavender-filled pillow in his lap, he hung his head and sobbed. I kept him home from school that day, tried to talk about the fact that Surrey had been in kidney failure when I brought him into the hospital; that the most compassionate thing we could have done for him was to let him go.

Flaurie Imberman was my Spanish teacher in high school. Last year, her husband suddenly died at the end of December. I asked her if I could post this moving piece that she composed for Yizkor (Remembrance) Service on Yom Kippur this year. I am grateful for her words and her sharing her mourning process. Gracias y Todah, Doña Flaurie -Nora Menkin

I really want a home funeral and natural burial, but I also want to donate my organs. Is this even possible? If so, how would that work? This is a frequently asked question we receive here at The Co-op Funeral Home of People's Memorial. Managing Funeral Director, Nora Menkin, wrote a column for The Order of the Good Death addressing this issue.

Many thanks to our members for joining us April 18, 2015 for the People's Memorial annual meeting. By popular demand, here is the video that premiered and was enjoyed by those in attendance:

I was raised Catholic, so I'm NOT the definitive authority on Judaism or Jewish Traditions. Having attended seminary, though, I'm a big fan of ceremony and its benefits, especially around life transitions. So when Nora read me this email and asked if I'd like to write about it, I was tempted... apprehensive about whether I'd be able to do justice by a faith tradition that's not my own, but definitely eager to learn more and discuss the nuances I would be able to grasp.

She is lying, partially wrapped in a plastic sheet, on a cold metal table in our prep room. Her head is tilted slightly away from me so I can’t see her face yet. I can see she is still in her hospital gown and there is a port still attached to her neck. I take a deep breath and walk toward her. As I come around her head, the row of staples on her scalp goes from her hairline back behind her head where I can’t even see them end. There is another row above her ear and her skull is obviously missing from under her skin between the two tracks. Her curly hair is matted on one side, shaved on the other. I have a full view of her face now.

There are many facets to working in the funeral industry. On the front side, the majority of what we do is service based. We meet with families to discuss arrangements, gather the appropriate authorizations, file death certificates, and order certified copies of those death certificates.

Once a year, The Co-op Funeral Home performs a scattering service on the Puget Sound. In Washington State, cremated remains may be scattered on all public navigable waterways. These include sounds, rivers, streams, lakes, and the ocean within a three-mile limit. Families and clients ask us to scatter for them and we are honored to be able to perform this service. It was a beautiful summer day this year. We launched our little boat and its cremated passengers from a dock at Alki Beach.

As far back as we can trace our family tree, all of my grandparents, great-grandparents, great-great- grandparents, have died. Thus I am resigned that I too, I’m sure, will one day die. In this facing of my mortality, I became a funeral director. How’s that for an explanation? Why did I become a funeral director? The real answer is so circuitous, I almost don’t know how I ended up here. But I did. A series of unfortunate and fortunate events landed me working at the only non-profit, funeral home Co-op that I know about in the United States. I'm so grateful to be here.

People frequently ask me what life events led to my decision to be a funeral director. Since this question is usually asked as an aside, I tend to try to be as concise as possible. What I typically say is “Family.”

My grandmother, though being completely tech-savvy, was not on Facebook. So whenever I posted a picture of my son being cute, I’d try to remember to just email her the same picture since she loved getting updates on her favorite and only great-grandson. April 14th I sent her a shot of the kiddo doing watercolors at the kitchen table, completely in the buff.

Legally, you are able to decide what is ultimately done with your remains. The only way to make sure that your wishes are carried out is to put them in writing and have them witnessed. In Washington State, the written wishes of the deceased carry more weight than the wishes of next-of-kin. This becomes especially important if there is any disagreement between family members, or you don’t think your wishes would honored by your next-of-kin. Put them in writing.

My four-year-old is in the incessant question phase. Every other sentence coming out of his cherubic mouth starts with, “Why…” The other sentences start with, “I want…”

There is a revolution happening in this country’s funeral industry. Previous to the Civil War, when people mostly died in the home, the body was prepared where the death occurred, usually with just a simple bathing and dressing. Then the body lay in state in the home’s parlor until the hole was dug for the grave. The family and community would transport the deceased to the graveside and fill in the hole themselves.

Our Funeral Director Intern, Jared, is telling his story about how he ended up in the funeral industry. Here is part two of Jared’s story. Read part one. Chemotherapy was hard. It was difficult on me physically and mentally. I would go into chemo once every two weeks for about 4 hour sittings. The drugs they were using were being referred to as a chemo cocktail. It was four types of chemotherapy all wrapped up into one very powerful, toxic medicine. It was almost corrosive. It was deteriorating my veins, so bad to the point I had to have a porta-cath surgically inserted into my chest. It was basically an internal I.V. that went behind my sternum into a main artery. I had a total of 12 treatments. But after number 4 I started to give up.

Meet Jared, our funeral director intern. People are always asking us how we ended up in the funeral profession. Jared’s road was rockier than most. This begins our series on answering one of the most frequently asked questions of us: What made you want to become a funeral director?

The Co-op Funeral Home was honored to work with Jussi Keranen and his family in helping take care of his mother, Liisa Keranen, after she died last month. We are so proud to assist in this remarkable family’s story, and grateful to Jussi for writing and sharing this beautiful experience.