My husband, my partner, my co-parent, and my best friend has left us.
He has been released from the pain that diminished his last few years.
Thankfully, he passed away peacefully, surrounded by love.
I want to remember him in all his vitality, alive, smiling, energetic, giving and loving.
I am so grateful for the almost 60 years we shared our lives as a team.
Treasured memories wherever I look--our bed he fashioned, his lovely pictures, the creative things he made to make our house a home; brightly lit spaces and cozy (he would say cluttered) rooms surround me. The garden he loved to tend. In our love, our history, our memories of times with family, of sunny days and mountaintops; of VW camper trips, of perfect powder on a blue bird day, or seeing our children, Matt and Mari, become parents themselves and sharing their children with us.
Please remember Jim well in your thoughts and honor him by extending kindness to others and smiling at every little child's face you see.
Sharing stories and your memories of Jim would mean so very much to us.
There will be no formal funeral for Jim. Rather there will be several small celebrations of his life, including the scattering of his ashes at places special to Jim.
Jacquie and Jim, 50th anniversary, August 27, 2016
Jim, Mari (daughter), Jacquie, Matt (son), Mexico
50th wedding celebration with the grandkids (Etta Patton, Marlo Patton, Tyler Johnson)
Tyler, Mari, Jim, Jacquie, Sue (sister of Jacquie), Jeff Johnson (son-in-law)
Angel’s Landing, Zion NP
Jeff, Mari, Tyler, Etta, Matt, Carolyn (Matt’s significant partner), Jim, Marlo, in front: Jacquie and granddogs, Ollie and Uma) March, 2021
Jim was such a big part of my adult life having married his daughter Mari a long time ago :) I remember driving home in the (old) Camper after climbing Mt Rainier with Jim, Jacquie and Mari. I was so tired from the trip and dozing with Mari in the back seat while Jim drove and Jacquie kept him company. I woke up to swirling lights on the Camper ceiling as we circled a Wal-Mart parking lot waiting for the traffic light to turn green. The clutch cable had snapped on the way and Jim was driving us home with no clutch and couldn't stop, after climbing a mountain. I was in my 30's at the time, but at that moment I was 5 years old and felt so safe with my 'dad' at the wheel. Much love to Jacquie and all of Jim's friends and extended family, Jeff
- Jeff Johnson
Dear JP - so sorry for your loss of your most special, loving partner. We will always remember his warmth, his smile and his loving spirit. Peace and love to you and your family at this time. We celebrate the life of Jim and your selfless care of him to the end. Thank you for letting us be in your lives and sharing time with you
- Love, Jon and Marsha
Dear Jacquie, Candace has been updating me since Jim first fell ill, so I feel like I’ve been a silent witness to you journey in his final chapter. My heart goes out to you, your beautiful family, and all of the people whose lives he touched. I hope you find great comfort and strength in these memories and the many people who love you. ❤️
- Kathy Kenny
Dear Jacquie and family Our hearts are broken for you. Sometimes we can find the right words to say...and sometimes we can only stand beside one another, and let our closeness say what words cannot. We loved reading your beautiful tribute to Jim and seeing the photos of him with your family. We share in your loss and are thinking of you. Love, Janet and Roger
- Janet Brown Ritch
I am so sorry for your loss. Don and I have been married for 57 years. Ups and downs we are still together. God bless you and Gods speed home for Jim. He will be waiting for you. Enjoy what time God has given you before he meets you. . You have more memories to make. Much hugs hon. June Hume Gouvaia
June Hume Gouvaia. Judy’s twin.
Thank you for sharing these photos. So lovely to see you and family. I was merely an acquaintance but know that Jim was dear, even to those who were not close. His kindness and goodness seeped into those around him. I'm sure you will carry him in your hearts and memories. I give one final salute to a veteran and fine human being.
I knew when Jim gave me an extra long , very deliberate hug at a summer gathering on our deck that he realized it would be the last hug and he was savoring the moment. That is so telling of our free spirited duo, Jacquie and Jim, always living in the present, making connections and capturing those moments on film. A few years back we spent a weekend in Gig Harbor together and what I most remember is how they were always either holding hands or patting a knee. Deeply affectionate, kind, generous; a loving partnership. Family meant everything to Jim. A life well lived! Rest In Peace.
My boys and I were neighbors of Jim and Jacquie in the University district. Jim's smile, and time to help our family out were freely given. At the beginning of one baseball season, I was struggling to find the time to pick up a new mitt. Jim took care of it for us. Another time he gave my son La Cross tips and a bit of practice when he began playing that sport in school.
Jim's genuine caring and willingness to give of himself was an example to my family of what friendship should look like.
Thank you Jim for your giving spirit.
You will be missed by all of us.
Jim and Jacquie have been an inspiring duet. I spent time mostly with Jacquie, hiking or sewing with "the girls." Even so, Jim was always the steady heartbeat in the background with whatever Jacquie was doing. They did the couples dance well. Suport, independence, and a deep love. Thank you for the lessons, Jim. Rest in peace. You lived life well. Jacquie, Mari, and Matt, may the memories be sweet, strong, and last for the rest of your lives.
Such a lovely man with such a wonderful spouse. Knowing him as a young man was to be educated in the quiet humility of integrity. I am fortunate to have known both Jim and you, Jackie.
This is really beautiful and loving, Mom. You've captured so much in so few words and images, even as you are processing, accepting, grieving and letting go. I admire you and the almost 60 years you and Dad spent together as partners. I hurt too and miss him. Love you!
I have many wonderful memories of Jim. He had a wonderful smile and was so patient and kind and so loving to our shared granddaughters. A memory that stands out is one trip before Halloween after buying large pumpkins at the pumpkin farm in Eugene, Jim set out to carve one using what I recall as a chainsaw but perhaps more like a hedge trimmer. He said “stand back” as he fired it up and we all watched him lop off the top. The girls thought he was wonderful! He also, perhaps partly because of his vocation, provided the little girls with all things a young doctor would love; stethoscopes, bandages, thermometers, and he was such a patient patient! They loved his quiet, funny, willingness to play, sharing and caring nature. We all loved Jim and he will be missed and always remembered.
What a beautiful tribute to your beloved husband and best friend. He will be missed by so many. I was lucky enough to get to know him in recent years and to see you two together. He will always be in my heart, dear friend.
I didn't really know either of you very well and for just a short time when he was so very sick, but the person that he was always came through: a kind and pleasant man, appreciative of others.
May your happy memories and loving family and friends bring comfort to you all.
Jacquie - Beautiful tribute to Jim your life partner. I always see both of you with big smiles as you take off on another adventure and create more experiences and memories. And you both were wonderful role models the past two years of how to live life fully as you face devastating health issues. May all your wonderful memories ( and pictures!!) of times to gather and with family be a comfort to you. Love Glee
I write this in loving memory of dear Jim, my brother-in-law (with emphasis on "brother". He has been such a warm and steady presence in my life, especially in the last twenty years, when we have lived close by, always ready to lend a helping hand and my go-to for medical advice. Jim had his mischievous side as well--took great delight in pulling my leg (I almost always fell for it!) I am just thankful to have had him in my life and will forever see him cruising down the highway in his beloved Volkswagen camper. Missing Jim. Love
Jacquie thanks for sharing your pictures and feelings about Jim. He was truly a Prince among men with soft spoken words of wisdom. You had so many wonderful adventures in your years together and gave each other the gift of growing old together.
You have been so stoic and loving through this time and now is your time to take care of yourself. I feel that is what Jim would want for you. He was so generous in that way. May you find comfort in your memories and pictures and sharing with friends and family. Love always, Reba
I remember Jim’s sparkly eyes when he smiled—truly lit up the room. His kindness, too, which emanated from him. Much love and peace to you, Jacquie.
Jim and I first met while we were both stationed at Kischinee Barracks, a military hospital in Yokohama Japan. We initially became good friends while playing hockey together for the Matsumoto Sports Shop B Team. We were the only two “gaijins” (foreigners) and being larger than most of the other players on the team we were constantly being encouraged to “checku” the opposition players. Not always accomplished, as although smaller they were also faster. Games were all late at night and we always worried that the trains would no longer be running when we went home. Our time and adventures there continued with working with wounded, traveling, skiing, and camping on the sand at “Secret Beach”. Over the last fifty years we have kept contact although not as frequently as we would have liked. We had the joy of spending time with him this past September and it was as if no time had passed since our days in Japan. A sweeter more thoughtful person I have never known, he will be truly missed.
- Lynn Mccanse
Jacq, Your photos (a gift that you have) tell the story of such a beautiful relationship and family. You shared such a warm embrace of life from beginning to end. My thoughts of Jim take me to Liberty Bay where he raced Lizzie to shore in the dinghy for her “business” trips. And how we had to rescue Family Therapy after she drug anchor while we were shopping. You are so strong Jacquie…and you know how to face grief head on in such a beautiful way. Love you lots! Susan
- Susan Coolbaugh
Jim took me on a stroll through his garden in March of 2019. He was so aware of nature around him-plants and bird life. How fitting that he will be part of his favorite places.
Jacquie, I recall what a wonderful time we had on our Greek sailing trip and post-trip to Turkey with you and Jim. I was so impressed with his laid back ways, brilliant smile and Jack Kennedyesque good looks. I remember so clearly Jim standing on the deck, working the sailing lines with his bronzed skin and thick tousled hair, and thinking he must be related to the Kennedys — after all, he was from New England! He was a gentle soul, soft spoken and free spirited. I always thought of the two of you as living a charmed love story. I am so sorry that Jim is now gone.
Jacq: among the many memories that I will be trickling to you over time, are the funny ones; to wit, Jim and I on our hands and knees trying to find just ONE weed in his perfect front lawn. Truly, if you will, laughing our asses off. After about 10 minutes he looked over at me dead-panned and asked me, "Are you making fun of me?" (as only he could) . I wasn't. We were both lost on a holy quest for pure green. I just stared at him back..and we returned to our critical task in silent earnest. Unforgettable....and speaks to the essence of life. Your candor and love in your memoire are profoundly tender. I love you. Cousin Jon. (Jonathan Webster Coffin)
- jon coffin
Your tribute to Jim is very moving and so well put. The world has lost a terrific man. Jim was a fun, kind, good soul and will be missed by everyone who knew him. My favorite memory of him goes way back to first meeting him. I was at Jacquie's house on a dark night when he arrived from New York. We all spent a few minutes talking and then I left. His car was parked behind mine. I didn't see it and plowed right into it. He could not have been more gracious about him damaged car and I was a super fan from that moment on. RIP Jim.
Mary Ann Carson Coulter
Dear Jacquie, you had a partner who made your lives indestructibly cheerful and vigorous. We will always remember Jim as one of nature's gentlemen.
- Karen and Eric Richter
Dear Aunt Jacquie,
I am sending so much love from all the way across the country. Uncle Jim was one of the most loving, funny, caring and compassionate people I have ever met. I remember him playing “Patrick” the dog with Mari and I in Cape Cod like it was yesterday. And how could I forget his talents in checker playing, lobster devouring and of course showing off the Volkswagen camper. Thanks to your amazing skills in photography lately I’ve been able to look back at some of the sweetest memories I had with Uncle Jim. Although a lot of credit goes to you and your ability to capture the best moments, I have to say it was hard not to notice that he had a smile on his face in every photo. I know that his kindness and joy will resonate within me forever. I miss and love you so much and cannot wait to see you soon
Dear Jacquie and Matt, I send my love to you.
And, to my forever friend, Mari, we met some 20 years ago at the Developmental Teacher Education program at Cal. It was there where we became fast friends. On bike rides, over cold beer and hot coffee we talked about everything—our families, our histories, politics, the politics of schools, and—at the crux of our program—human development. We talked in depth about your thesis--the brave topic of a child’s concepulatization of death at the various stages of development. And, now, here you are, a grown child facing it in all of its pain, rawness and complexity. My heart aches for you, Mari, your lovely mom, brother, and family. I figured an Elizabeth Kubler-Ross quote would be most appropriate.
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Peace and love to you, Mari and family.
My Dear Friend,
Now those memories of time together bring such warmth. I will be forever grateful for all your help when I was so sick and when I had those Dr. appointments and also had to go to the hospital. You knew how to be there, how to comfort and how to ease my worries.
Plus always loved having those delicious meals and enriching conversations at your home. The specialness of your coupleship and your friendship and caring will always be treasured.
My arms will always be around you and your loving family.
I so enjoyed your tribute, the family photos and the many shared comments, Jacquie. It’s hard to recall stories of just Jim’s delightful nature. Jim & Jacquie have been a fun-generating, and kindness-dispensing team. They share so many of the same qualities. I often described J & J to others as 2 of the nicest people on the face of the planet. (Totally embarrassing for Jim, of course, also being among the planet’s humblest.)
Even so, I will long remember his perfectly executed, yet graceful, telemark turns, and his joy in being in the mountains. And difficult to forget a ski trip when Jim wore a backpack at night so that he couldn’t flip over on his back and snore – he was so intent on not disturbing others in the thin-walled lodging. Between rounds of chemo, he chauffeured me to a doctor appt. Despite a quiet demeanor, he could take a conversation to richer (or cheerier) territory. This and so much more.
I suspect that any one of us who spent time with J & J left feeling better about themselves and the world. When you touch someone’s heart, as Jim so frequently did, that is something that lives on in the world and truly makes a difference. May we all “pay it forward.”
Love and Hugs, Sue Enger
I have very fond memories of Jim and Jacquie even though I haven't been in touch for years. To me they were the perfect team, full of fun and energy and friendship. The world is definitely a lesser place without Jim. Jacquie, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Ah, Jacquie --
A latecomer to the ski club, I'll always remember your merry faces around the table and in the snow, and how easy it was to embark on a conversation of length and depth.
Okay, and then the Snow Angels. One night you two jumped out into the always-exciting new snowfall (as if we were kids? yes!) in the altogether, prompting more of us to come out and make snow angels with you.
You two, you let us see each of you better because you could stand out on your own, so strongly together.
Love all around,
Jim was such a big part of my adult life having married his daughter Mari a long time ago :) I remember driving home in the (old) Camper after climbing Mt Rainier with Jim, Jacquie and Mari. I was so tired from the trip and dozing with Mari in the back seat while Jim drove and Jacquie kept him company. I woke up to swirling lights on the Camper ceiling as we circled a Wal-Mart parking lot waiting for the traffic light to turn green. The clutch cable had snapped on the way and Jim was driving us home with no clutch and couldn't stop, after climbing a mountain. I was in my 30's at the time, but at that moment I was 5 years old and felt so safe with my 'dad' at the wheel.
Much love to Jacquie and all of Jim's friends and extended family, Jeff
Your loving remembrance of Jim was wonderfully written. I idolized my oldest cousin Jim in my youth. He was larger than life every time I interacted with him. I admire the partnership you had with each other. He will be missed and remembered by so many people. I send my condolences and love to you and the family.